I Can, Indeed, Grow a Mustache
by LOLChanny819
Summary: "You're delusional, m'kay Sonbeam? I could grow a mustache in my sleep!" Wait, can't most people? "Fine, then I want to see you with a full blown mustache tomorrow morning!" "You're on!" How, exactly, does one go about growing facial hair?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny with a Chance or So Random!. If I did, I would have told Demi that she could do what she needed to and if she ever felt ready to come back she was more than welcome to, because she is just so talented and this amazing person. All she wants is to help people, and she is one of my role models forever. Sorry, I needed to get that out there. Plus, no Jeff Dunham, Steve Carell, or Starbucks.**

**Hey there, huggables! I have a vague idea of what I want to write this time, and I really wanted to write a new one shot…so let's hope this is a keeper and not a BLAH! Hehe, it's late and I'm slap happy. Oh, and if you read my multichapter, Echoes of Thunder in My Mind, I updated a couple of days ago.:) (side note: Guys, I seriously have made so many mistakes in just this author's note, so I KNOW I'm tired.)**

I Can, Indeed, Grow a Mustache

Frowning at his reflection in a spoon, Chad shook his head in disgust. She was wrong. Sonny Munroe was wrong, and he was going to prove it. If CDC wants a mustache, he'll get a mustache. Because he's a man, and that's what men do. There's a reason Cloudy and Rainy don't have facial hair; they simply aren't _tough_ enough. Of course _he_ was, though. You don't get to be America's Heartthrob without being a manly man.

Now, this may not have bothered Chad so much if he hadn't read the article in Tween Weekly this morning with Sonny's first interview in a magazine as the main event. He shuddered just thinking about the lies and the betrayal in that article.

_Hey everyone! Tween Weekly here, and we recently sat down with teen sensation, America's Sweetheart, Sonny Munroe for a little one on one about her life so far in Hollywood. Whew, that girl is energetic! She's honestly one of the most down to Earth celebrities I've ever met. And the way she responded to our questions was quite interesting._

_How has life been since you began working on _SoRandom!_?_

_Sonny: Actually, it's been pretty great. I've made a ton of new friends and I really feel like I can do anything. It's so fun, just being on top of the world. (the girl has the most adorable laugh in the world.)_

_Do you get along well with your cast?_

_Sonny: We're like a family, honestly. Yes, we do all have our fights but, in the end, I think that's what brings us together. A year ago I never would have thought I'd be calling Tawni Hart one of my best friends, but I am, and it's so exciting!_

_Who is your biggest inspiration comedy-wise?_

_Sonny: Ooh, that's a hard one. I think I'd have to say Jeff Dunham, or maybe Steve Carell. They're both huge role models in my life because they succeed at what they do for the people who look up to them and it makes people happy, which is what I love to do most. I actually got to meet Jeff Dunham a couple of months ago. We ran into each other at Starbucks. That has to be one of my most favorite memories. (she laughs again here, and everyone in the room is smiling at her.)_

_Who is your favorite artist?_

_Sonny: Okay, you guys probably are going to be all "What?' here, but I can't help it. I seriously love Maroon 5. And Carrie Underwood has soul in her music, so she's definitely one of my favorites, too._

_Okay, Sonny, this is the last question. How do you feel about Chad Dylan Cooper?_

_Sonny: (might I add, she is sincerely blushing here, but there is a hint of a smirk on her face none of us were expecting.) Chad? Are you kidding? He – I mean – we fight almost every day. If the dude wants my respect, he's _gotta_ be able to grow a mustache. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he's untalented or anything, he's just a wannabe man. I can't help it, he's a pretty boy! (by this point, she is laughing so happily none of us can be the slightest bit mad at her for hating on CDC.)_

_ So there you guys have it! Chad Dylan Cooper brings out Sonny's devious side. The one thing I can say about her is that she's full of surprises! I know she threw everyone at Tween Weekly for a loop that day! Sonny Munroe, everybody. The girl with the infectious smile and the sweetest laugh in the world._

So now, he has no choice but to grow a hairy, annoying, scratchy mustache that will, no doubt, repel girls. I mean, who wants to kiss _that_? No one, that's who. Well, no one except Sonny. Speak of the devil….

Sonny Munroe walked into the room at that moment, smiling contently and going to find a place in line behind her friends. Chad had quite a few words to say to her, and they certainly were not appropriate for children.

Jabbing his tongue into his cheek angrily, the drama king walked over to the seemingly harmless brunette, tapping her on the shoulder. She quickly spun around. "Oh, hi, Chad. What's up?" Oh, so that's how she was going to play this game. Well, fine. _Game on_.

Laughing fakely, Chad walked around her in a circle slowly, deliberately trying to make her uncomfortable, though he couldn't tell if it worked or not. "Ah, nothing much. You know, the usual. Massage, people waiting on me, fans screaming my name, _shaving_." At his last remark, she burst into a fit of giggles that, if he wasn't so mad, he would have found adorable.

Smiling widely at the blonde heartthrob, Sonny laughed again. "Oh, you saw the article in Tween Weekly?" She paused for a moment, giggling again. "Nothing against you, Cooper, but it's true."

"No it's _not_," he bit back quickly, defensively. She was completely wrong, and he needed to prove that. "Look, I don't know what silly little games you play over at 'Chuckle City' but I'm a _real_ actor, and I don't find this the least bit amusing. I can grow a mustache, Sonny." There.

Rolling her eyes, Sonny laughed again. "Please, Chad, _Portlyn's_ face has more hair on it than yours." At this remark, Portlyn looked up from the magazine she was reading at the Falls' table, covered her face with her hands, and quickly walked out of the room – to get a facial, Chad assumed.

Frowning, the teen star shook his head at her. "That wasn't very nice of you, Munroe. Even if Portlyn did look a little like a werewolf, and even if the guys at the Falls call her Portzilla behind her back, it still wasn't polite. And she only has more facial hair because, being a man who likes to get the ladies' attention, I shave. Every day. Sometimes _twice_ a day, even. Take that."

Sonny scoffed. "You're not one to talk. Chad, you're one of the rudest people I know. And I didn't know she was there; I was just making a point. You know, she's not that hairy. I should apologize…wait, that's beside the point. I'll figure that out later. Point is, if you can grow a mustache so easily, I want to see you with a full grown mustache by the end of the week."

Scoffing right back, Chad crossed his arms. "You're on, Munroe. One week. No, I'll have a mustache by _tomorrow morning_." What had he just done? "A real one." He was masochistic, _wasn't_ he? That was the only reasonable explanation for the words that were spouting out of his mouth without his consent.

Smirking, Sonny reached a hand out to shake his. He agreed fiercely, shaking her hand with so much malice he was a little afraid he'd pull it off. "Fine, Cooper. I'll be waiting for you in the Commissary tomorrow morning at eight. Be there." And with that, she walked away.

"I'll be there by 7:50, _Sonbeam_." Okay, so maybe she hadn't been completely wrong. The truth was, he couldn't grow a mustache, a beard, a goatee, a soul patch, anything. Heck, he didn't even have much leg hair (not that anyone needed or _wanted_ to know that). The question was, what was he going to do about it? Because Sonny Munroe just couldn't win, even if she _was_ right.

….

By 7:50 the next morning, Chad was waiting in the Commissary leaning against the wall nervously, a small but extremely attractive mustache on his upper lip. It was go time. Where was Sonny?

See, he had done some thinking. The only thing that had made sense to him was to get a mustache. But he couldn't just grow one; no, that was pretty much impossible. He had tried numerous times before, and all of his attempts had failed miserably. So at eleven o' clock that night he had gone to a wig shop and purchased a small blonde mustache. It may have been fake, but it certainly _looked_ real. So it would suffice.

It itched like – um, _heck_ – but it would be worth it once he saw the priceless look of astonishment on Sonny Munroe's face. Not that there was anything to be surprised about, _precisely_. He _was_ Chad Dylan Cooper and – oh, forget it. So he couldn't grow a mustache, sue him. Not everyone needed facial hair.

In the midst of his argument with himself, Sonny came rushing into the Commissary, her hair messily strewn across her face and shoulders. "Sorry, my car broke down and I had to run here while the tow truck took it to a repair shop." So that explained the bad hair day. It _was_ awfully windy outside. "I see you have a mustache." She was stopped short by this revelation, and a confident smirk danced on his face.

Chuckling lowly, Chad pushed off the wall and walked over to her. "Yes, Sonny, I do. I _told you_ I could grow one. See, I bet you never saw this coming. I bet you figured that I couldn't get any more handsome, but, look, I can. The only reason I choose not to wear the mustache full time is because girls would faint if they – _ouch_!"

Sonny smirked at him, one hand on her hip and the other holding his "mustache". He held a hand to his lip where a burning sensation was spreading like wildfire. "You just hijacked my mustache!"

Shaking her head, Sonny frowned at him. "Aw, Cooper. Did I? Or did you commit mustache fraud _before_ I hijacked your mustache? Both, possibly?" She turned her smirk into an innocent smile, batting her eyelashes. She had him, and they both knew it.

"Well, I…I mean – it doesn't take a mustache to make a boy a man, okay? And it's not my fault I can't grow one! Blame my dad! It's genetics!" Darn it. More words that had left his mouth without his permission.

Laughing lightly, Sonny threw the mustache in the nearest garbage can. "Chad, I just said that in the article because I knew it would bother you. Personally, facial hair on a guy turns me off. No one wants to kiss that!" So they _were_ on the same wavelength, then.

Sighing in relief, Chad looked down. "You…won't tell anyone, right? I mean, I _do_ have a reputation to keep up here." He knew her answer even before the words had popped out of her mouth. Before they had moved away from her sparkling teeth and her soft mouth he desperately wanted to kiss.

Alright, so maybe he had a small…infatuation – or crush, if you prefer – with Little Miss Sonny. But how could he help it? She was so _cute_. Stupid cute. "Sorry. But I'm under a So Random! oath and I'm _obligated_ to tell."

Frowning, Chad nodded, looking back up at her. "Yeah, I guess I kind of knew that already." It _was_ Sonny. Of _course_ she would pick her friends before him. She loved them. She loved everyone, and he was learning to accept that.

Moving towards him again, she smiled shyly. "Of course, I'll keep my mouth shut if _you_ do." What was she implying? What dirt did he have on her? She was Sonny; he doubted she had a single bad bone in her body.

Confused, Chad shrugged. "Keep my mouth shut about what?"

Biting her lip, Sonny leaned in and pecked Chad on the lips. "About _that_. Sorry, but it was just so…_tempting_."

Grinning back at her, Chad pulled the brunette into his arms, reveling in the tingles it sent throughout his whole body. "I can be quiet…if you do it again, that is." Without having to wait for an answer, Chad knew. _Of course she would._ And guess what? He was right. Who needed a mustache, anyway?

**Did you like it? Wow, I haven't written fluff in a long time. So…well…this happened. It feels GOOD! I feel good, na na na na na na na. I knew that I would…yeah, don't own that song, either. I think I might write more like this if you guys liked it. I miss writing like this, so just let me know what you thought in a nice little review. Or a constructive one…hmm. Anyway, let me know! SMILES!**

**LOL**


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